oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
did i walk over a car last night?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
