You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize