"it" just moved
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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