We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
