DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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