Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
