Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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