I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
