If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
