it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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