she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
