The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
3 2 1 whiskey
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
