I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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