then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
