4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
