There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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