I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
