i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
