I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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