you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
