the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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