its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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