How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
