So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
