I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize