Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
