I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Congratulations! We have a period
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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