I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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