Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
