Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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