There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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