But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
