There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Watching her eat just hurts me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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