He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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