This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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