This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
