he wants to bone in the snuggie
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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