Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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