I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
