i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
