I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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