he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
