Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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