you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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