ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
