Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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