i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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