Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
