these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
