just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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