Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize