apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
