you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
