my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
