he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
