She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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