becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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