pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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