it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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