The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's blow job season.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
