I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
