she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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