so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
