can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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