i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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